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How Can a (formerly) Virgin Boyfriend Learn to Rock My World?
Q: Dear KingLove,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over a month. He was a virgin (mid-twenties) and is shy. I'm in my early thirties and have two children - I'm not shy at all! I've been having sex for years, and am trying to teach him about making love, how to kiss, 4-play, etc. He wants to learn but seems to be worried about disappointing me. I get frustrated sometimes - I guess because I want him to rock my world.
He is getting better at it, but still not sure about what he is doing. It's like he is scared which I'm sure he is. I am his 1st. Do you have any suggestions on teaching him? I do have patience with him. I have to or it won't work. I really love this guy but I also need my needs fulfilled sexually. To be honest, I'm not used to such a nice guy, not to mention the inexperience. Any suggestions on the books you carry about love? It's like he wants to learn but is scared to at the same time. Help! :)
A: Sharon -
A little over a month and you expect a 27 year old virgin to rock your world? Patience my dear, patience! Your guy needs remedial classes and all of a sudden he's thrown into the honors course midsemester without a textbook and it's taught in a foreign language. The subject matter can be very intimidating, and he needs a good teacher and reassurance. Providing direction (see below), and saying "this feels even better" will make sure he won't disappoint you. Being positive will develop his confidence.
You mentioned books. A lot of people like to study a subject on their own. A women's anatomy is subtle compared to men. The Ultimate Sex Book, Romantic Interludes, and most of our Love and Learn videos will certainly help. The Ultimate Sex Book is a fabulous gift, and one which novices to experts appreciate. As far as the KingLove instructional videos, your boyfriend may not be interested unless you say, "hey, I've got a fun video I want to watch with you - it's a surprise somebody told me about." That way it's not just about him. He may prefer to watch in his time alone if he's very shy. You know best.
Fortunately for you both, you're not shy at all. You are very clear about what you like and your needs, and more than happy to help him. One other product, a vibrator, may take some of the pressure off him, and be a great instructional aid - but only if it's something he's comfortable with. You have to be clear with him that it's only a foreplay or afterplay tool, and that he's the highlight! You're going to be the most rewarding teacher he's ever had. You're mostly teaching him how to make you both feel good. All of that being said...
TELL HIM WHAT TO DO!!!
You need to tell him exactly what you like, and then respond favorably when he does it. If you want experimentation, tell him. If you want whips and chains, live animals, power tools, or food products, TELL HIM! I guarantee that he is NOT going to take this the wrong way. The better you feel, the better he'll feel. Just be honest with him and excited that these things are fabulous, feel great and make him very sexy. He'll dig that.
Sex is all about give and take. First, you ask him to give. Second, you make some noise or squirm a little when he does it. The more you like it, the more noise you make. He might even want to hear something dirty. (even if he does it wrong, at least he is learning). He won't even try again if you act surprised or disappointed at his blunder. Respond vocally and favorably to everything you like. Third, make the whole thing pleasurable for him. Sometimes you may be disappointed because he isn't giving you what you need. Don't let that keep you from making sure he gets what he needs. This will keep him interested in the whole process. And, given his inexperience, making sure he is satisfied should be relatively easy to do.
You are in a position that many people would kill for. You get to mold a lover into exactly what you want. Don't waste the opportunity! With a little patience and the right technique, he'll have you flushed and happy in no time.
Best of Luck,
KingLove
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