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Living the Dream: Is a Three-Way OK?
Q: Dear KingLove,
#1 how do i go about asking a woman that i think wants me to bed.
#2 how do i get my girlfriend's friend and her to do a threesome? my girlfriend has started trying the bi-scene lately.
Thanks, John, Tampa,FL
A: It sounds like things are pretty interesting for you right now, John! As for your first question:
1. You don't ask a woman to bed. You ask a woman out.
2. She wants you? This is a problem? Women get what they want -- just sit back and wait. Just don't sit too far back...
On your second question regarding the swingingness:
Although it may be a dream of many guys when it's at arms length, it can quickly change things when it's RIGHT THERE. This is a potentially explosive situation. Sure, anything is possible in love, but KingLove has seen some dangerous things happen from multiple simultaneous sex partners.
A general rule of thumb for us is that there is no such thing as meaningless sex - ESPECIALLY considering one of them is your girlfriend. Sex always has a reason behind it. You want something; maybe love, maybe just contact, perhaps power, maybe prestige, perhaps someone else, but you want.
Let's say your girlfriend is checking out the other side of her bi. Well, good for her, but isn't she your girlfriend? Sex with someone of the same gender is not Sex Lite. It means she's screwing other people -- what is commonly known as cheating. It means she wants something that doesn't have anything to do with you and doesn't include you.
If this is something that you want to encourage, because, hey, free three-way --then that's your choice. But keep in mind, there is going to be a moment when she's going to be having sex and you're going to be watching and she's not going to be thinking about you. Try to envision the aftermath and see if you're all adult enough to handle this. It may not be the experience you think it's going to be.
Okay, done moralizing. Tactical stuff: you don't ask the friend, she does. But --you really shouldn't do this with someone you know. This is the type of thing that wrecks friendships. Perhaps the girlfriend, the next time she makes a foray into the girl scene, could find someone who is amenable and doesn't know all the state secrets.
Oh, and one more thing? You don't GET anyone to do anything.
Best of Luck,
KingLove
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