Advice & Entertainment |
Ask KingLove |
Soldier of Love |
Romance Hall of Fame
KingLove Movie Guide |
Book Reviews |
Relationship Energizer |
Sexual Most Wanted
A Very Warm Feeling about Her Sense of Humor
By El Camino
I have dating guidelines. I don't like to think of them as rules. I look at them as points on a map, meant to help you lead your date to a sense of ease. You can think of me as your cartographer of love. "You got to stumble through the territory to draw the map." And friends, I've stumbled up through the muddy banks and down the slippery slopes of dating. Let me make the mistakes for you.
El Camino's Dating Tip #1: Humor takes the sting out of an awkward situation.
I met my friend Carly in Atlanta. I had a touch of the sickness, and every time I opened my mouth, a voice like a 48-year-old chain-smoking barmaid came out. I was traveling alone and in such a god-forsaken state I ended up in a Rock Bottom Brewery. Carly grabbed me from the waiting area, sat me down in a corner booth and proceeded to shower me in Southern Hospitality. Carly's version manifested in 4 pots of peppermint tea, a bowl of pasta, and three trips to the restroom. Feeling a reciprocated interest in spite of an overactive phlegm unit, I could feel myself blushing at having to be a sloppy mess in front of this girl. Luckily, Carly had passed mile marker # 1 at some point and knew just what to do. She told me a story about a date.
In college she had dated a guy named Rolly. She told me she had been about a day and a half from breaking up with him when he called her and invited her out for a night on the town. Rolly paid for everything: Dinner and wine, dancing, drinks. They had capped it off with a drunken make out session on the futon in her 4th level dorm room (she told me that she would have gone further but the drink had stolen Rolly's get-up. She really said get-up.). They fell asleep spooning on the futon.
Around 4:00 am, Carly awoke in the warm room feeling that something wasn't right. She noticed the temperature was rising in her waste-area. She shook Rolly awake whispering, "Rolly, I think that something is wrong...down there." Carly believes she jumped up at the precise moment she realized that the warm feeling was a warm, wet feeling.
Now, I know the way most of the women I've known would respond to a midnight urine dousing. The feelings of some piss-happy, goof ball would be their last consideration. But what does Carly do? Covered in Gatorade yellow pee (underscored by the white denim pants she'd worn), Carly nonchalantly stripped to her pelt in front of a saturated, stunned Rolly and asked for a pair of his shorts. Rolly changed while fetching the shorts, and sat down on the floor (the futon needed some airing out) while she slipped them on.
She eased in next to him saying, "Your not gonna pee on me are you?"
Did Carly and Rolly stay together? Yes, they lasted two more days. Did Carly and I get together? Never saw her again, but God, I'd really like to.
|
